31 Flavors of Kink

31 Flavors of Kink - Leia Shaw, Cari Silverwood The author uses a "true" story of a spoiled immature wife. Pisses me off that author wants to use this as a wonderful example of an introduction of BDSM. Wife wanted to have her cake and eat it too. Playing at BDSM wouldn't save this relationship long term. Don't buy this book for the cover because it doesn't match woman and story line.

Woman was raped as a teenager. Hasn't resolved sexual issues. Can't even communicate to her husband that she gets fearful during sex in the missionary position. He's a breast man and she can't even tell him that playing with her chest reminds her of the rape. But she is smart enough to know that if she doesn't put out she may lose her husband. Now I have no idea why he has put up with bad and unresponsive sex for 5 years. She hasn't even had an orgasm and doesn't even take the responsibility of learning about her body through masturbation.

Likes her safe minimum wage no responsibility job even though husband is willing to send her to college. Jeez, there are lots of better paying jobs that don't require college. She doesn't even want to be a stay at home mom. Is 30 and does't even want kids yet. She's still living as though she is a 20 year old. Husband is main provider and shares domestic responsibilities with her - dishes, budget/bill paying, etc. His job has busy seasons during the year and she is totally uncaring and unsupportive. He has a female boss from hell who does not respect his boundaries and texts him late at night. Jeez, she is so spoiled and self centered thinking he is having an affair. She doesn't want to understand the responsibility of working a corporate job and being the major bread winner.

Gets into reading BDSM romance novels and researching BDSM. Wants to be restrained and spanked during sex. Asks hubby to do it. He does and does a pretty good job. But for all of her research and reading ability, she totally misses out that she responds to pain better than vanilla sex foreplay. Duhh, go figure, maybe it was because you were raped and need to be forced to enjoy sex - don't know, but that would be an excellent time to visit a counselor who specializes in BDSM. Shares new sexual experiences with BDSM forum who jump her ass because she did not have her husband follow a nice progression with spanking toys (start with hand, then paddle, etc). She let her husband use a belt the first time. She knew her husband wasn't the research type. She also depended upon him to buy the toys, etc. Like everything else, demanded that he take responsibility for her. Forum also scolded her for pushing her husband into a Dom role. He even told her that it was too tiring for him and he just wanted regular sex. If she were smart and was a supportive wife, she maybe could have helped him out physically - like partially restraining herself - but no, she is a child who can't even masturbate and learn how to orgasm on her own. Jeez, she needed to buy some nipple clamps since she liked pain instead of vanilla breast play. And buy a paddle herself to make it easier for her husband to spank her. She also tops from the bottom trying to control the scenes and safe words out too soon. Wants to feel pain but doesn't want her limits pushed by him or even herself.

When husband gets into the scene, does a pretty good job. He sees that she gets aroused by being restrained. He also realizes that she needs the act of being spanked which is major epiphany for their relationship and her sexual needs. She has never given him a BJ but does when she is restrained. But like missionary position, she won't communicate any of this to him even though she figures it early on. But no, she acts like a spoiled child. Demands that he take total responsibility. She doesn't want to admit that he is not Dom material, and she definitely doesn't give him the authority and respect of a Dom during their scenes. She blows the forum off by saying that they are too critical. Also, she asks him what his sexual desires are - which are strip tease/lap dancing and dirty talk - and doesn't reciprocate because that is "not her". Doesn't want to wear the sexy panties he buys for her which is topping from the bottom and not wanting to be a partner in their marriage. Like I said - spoiled childlike behavior.